Mothers Out Loud

Oh summer… how I love/loathe thee. The frantic panic of figuring out what the hell to do with my kids for the next two+ months, starkly contrasting my love of lazy mornings and late, pool-soaked evenings. Summer always stresses me out, no matter how many camps I have or have not booked. There’s unreasonable, Instagram-fueled pressure to have a “magical” season with the kids — to take postcard perfect beach vacations and pack picnics for the park. To feed the ducks, ride ponie

My kids just went back to school today — a 104 degree day in Austin, TX in Mid-August. This is a glorious day for me and I am currently celebrating at a coffee shop with a real-woman-thigh-sized iced latte. I’ve fucking earned this bitch. This summer has been a long and hot one here in Texas and for reasons I don’t fully understand, I didn’t plan a lot of camps or travel. I got to spend copious amounts of time with my two boys, ages seven and nine. Hurray! Anyone with two or

And other encouraging things I say to my children in the morning “Back-to-school” is such a blissful and serene time. The family feels extra organized and orderly. Everything is in its rightful place — in color-coded folders, ready for the busy academic year ahead. The children pick out healthy, wholesome snacks to bring to school and lay out their wrinkle-free clothes the night before. They bed down early to achieve maximum restfulness to meet the day’s challenges. When the

I’d rather gnaw on Johnny Depp’s sweaty durag There are two types of people in this world: those who think dessert should be delicious, and those who think dessert should be healthy. My husband falls into the latter category. I love him, but his dessert-buying days are numbered. Can an entree be healthy and delicious? Sure. Breakfast? Why not? But dessert? Whyyyy? This is the one course of a meal where we can and should suspend all Goop-infused propaganda. We all know that su

At least I can waddle with the best of them They are everywhere — online and in stores. They are trending all over Instagram and LTK (Like to Know). They pop up in the folds of every glossy magazine. They line the runways of the hottest fashion shows. They are long and awkward. They look impossible to walk in. They remind you of that mean librarian from elementary school who always had spinach in her teeth. They are confusingly this season’s hottest trend. They are ankle-leng

And is forever shunned by her community In an unprecedented act of bravery, a local mom decided to post an honest tribute to her son on his birthday on Facebook. The mom — whose identity will remain anonymous for her safety — was tired of seeing the constant stream of identical posts from other moms on their children’s birthdays. The local mom didn’t understand how everyone’s kids were so perfect and special. Was she the only one on the planet with average, lazy, messy, ungra