Mom Posts Honest Social Media Tribute To Her Son On His Birthday

And is forever shunned by her community

In an unprecedented act of bravery, a local mom decided to post an honest tribute to her son on his birthday on Facebook.

The mom — whose identity will remain anonymous for her safety — was tired of seeing the constant stream of identical posts from other moms on their children’s birthdays.

The local mom didn’t understand how everyone’s kids were so perfect and special. Was she the only one on the planet with average, lazy, messy, ungrateful kids?

Day after day she’d scroll through the same posts.

“Happy birthday Shelly! You are so beautiful, caring, and brave. You light up our lives. We love you to the moon and back.”

That’s not that much love if we’re honest, thought the mom.

“Sam, you are the most amazing, sweet, intelligent, loving boy and we couldn’t be more proud of you on your big day.”

For eating a piece of cake and opening sixty presents like a rabid honey badger? She pondered.

“Piper, you continue to amaze and inspire us every day. We are so lucky we get to call you ours. Happy birthday to our fearless, selfless, generous, caring, thoughtful, fashionable, smart, heroic, athletic, gentle, compassionate, considerate girl. You make the world go round!”

Likely to murder someone someday, she guessed.

The mom also didn’t understand why parents post such extraordinary tributes to their children who would never see them, because they don’t even have social media accounts.

She wondered what went on inside these homes.

Was Shelly always that caring and brave?

Was Sam really that sweet and intelligent? He’s only three after all. How do his parents know what his mental acuity is so early?

And then there’s Piper — a shiver went down the local mom’s spine just thinking about her.

The mom, feeling alone with her perfectly average children, decided to try something different.

Her older son’s birthday was a month away, but since he wouldn’t see the post anyway, she went for it — thereby causing a ripple of horror throughout her community.

Our investigators were able to track down the post, which you’ll see in its entirety below. Trigger warning: those who are sensitive to realistic commentary about children may find the post offensive. Also, it has not been edited for grammatical errors.

September 4, 2023: 9:08 a.m.

“Happy birthday Doug! What a year it’s been. You’ve shown marginal improvement in math, which makes us grateful to have a break from the screaming matches over your homework. Please keep it up, okay? No really, please?

We are so proud of you for patching up the hole you created in the playroom wall while wrestling with your brother. You still have to earn $150 to replace the lamp that shattered, but we know you can do it. We believe in you buddy!

Your tuba playing skills leave a lot to be desired, but we admire your tenacity. It’s okay if you want to quit though. We’ll still love you. In fact, we’ll probably love you more.

You were so kind when you resisted calling your brother ‘dirty-ballz-boy’ when he stole your favorite baseball cards. I know it was on the tip of your tongue, but you exercised restraint by calling him ‘stinky-sack-boy’ instead. We’re really proud of you for that.

You’ve really shown tremendous growth this year. We notice you’ve started to feel a sense of shame when you fart in public. Like last week when you ripped an earth-shaker at that upscale French restaurant just as the waiter was taking our order. At least you felt embarrassed — we’re going to call that progress! Ditto for scratching your privates in public.

Can’t wait to see what else you accomplish in your 10th year around the sun! Happy birthday kid! We love you to the sun and back. 50 times.”

Her followers, many of them moms too, were not impressed except for one. Amidst a sea of “caring” and “sad face” emojis, there was one “laughing” emoji. The mom looked to see who pressed the laughing face — and knew she’d found her new forever friend.

The moms who sent caring and sad face emojis no longer invite the local mom to social events, but she is not terribly sad about it. It got boring hearing about their kids’ accomplishments.

The new forever friend and the local hero can be seen around town talking and laughing about their exceptionally average children whom they love just as much as the parents of the superstar, out-of-this-universe, always kind, brilliant, adventurous, smart, athletic, curious, brave, caring, and compassionate children.