<?xml version="1.0" encoding="UTF-8"?><rss xmlns:dc="http://purl.org/dc/elements/1.1/" xmlns:content="http://purl.org/rss/1.0/modules/content/" xmlns:atom="http://www.w3.org/2005/Atom" version="2.0"><channel><title><![CDATA[Mother's Out Loud]]></title><description><![CDATA[Parenting, Laughter, and Real Talk]]></description><link>https://www.mothersoutloud.com/blog</link><generator>RSS for Node</generator><lastBuildDate>Fri, 10 Jul 2026 19:58:52 GMT</lastBuildDate><atom:link href="https://www.mothersoutloud.com/blog-feed.xml" rel="self" type="application/rss+xml"/><item><title><![CDATA[A Tale of Two Moms]]></title><description><![CDATA[Oh summer… how I love/loathe thee. The frantic panic of figuring out what the hell to do with my kids for the next two+ months, starkly contrasting my love of lazy mornings and late, pool-soaked evenings. Summer always stresses me out, no matter how many camps I have or have not booked. There’s unreasonable, Instagram-fueled pressure to have a “magical” season with the kids — to take postcard perfect beach vacations and pack picnics for the park. To feed the ducks, ride ponies and splash in...]]></description><link>https://www.mothersoutloud.com/post/a-tale-of-two-moms</link><guid isPermaLink="false">6a18a2f9d715e99f6b9acdc6</guid><pubDate>Thu, 28 May 2026 20:19:11 GMT</pubDate><enclosure url="https://static.wixstatic.com/media/d079e4_9d683bdd5202462a84cbecb32a181d02~mv2.jpg/v1/fit/w_1000,h_1000,al_c,q_80/file.png" length="0" type="image/png"/><dc:creator>Rosalie Berg</dc:creator></item><item><title><![CDATA[Sending My Kids Back To School With One Wish]]></title><description><![CDATA[My kids just went back to school today — a 104 degree day in Austin, TX in Mid-August. This is a glorious day for me and I am currently celebrating at a coffee shop with a real-woman-thigh-sized iced latte. I’ve fucking earned this bitch. This summer has been a long and hot one here in Texas and for reasons I don’t fully understand, I didn’t plan a lot of camps or travel. I got to spend copious amounts of time with my two boys, ages seven and nine. Hurray! Anyone with two or more young boys...]]></description><link>https://www.mothersoutloud.com/post/sending-my-kids-back-to-school-with-one-wish</link><guid isPermaLink="false">6a18a1f269f69d4475ad05a7</guid><pubDate>Thu, 28 May 2026 20:14:37 GMT</pubDate><enclosure url="https://static.wixstatic.com/media/d079e4_35b83a9145dc427c92a4ead938e4d8d4~mv2.jpg/v1/fit/w_1000,h_1000,al_c,q_80/file.png" length="0" type="image/png"/><dc:creator>Rosalie Berg</dc:creator></item><item><title><![CDATA[Get Your Sweaty Ballsacs In the Car Now!]]></title><description><![CDATA[And other encouraging things I say to my children in the morning “Back-to-school” is such a blissful and serene time. The family feels extra organized and orderly. Everything is in its rightful place — in color-coded folders, ready for the busy academic year ahead. The children pick out healthy, wholesome snacks to bring to school and lay out their wrinkle-free clothes the night before. They bed down early to achieve maximum restfulness to meet the day’s challenges. When the alarm sounds in...]]></description><link>https://www.mothersoutloud.com/post/get-your-sweaty-ballsacs-in-the-car-now</link><guid isPermaLink="false">6a0f180593cb63b5317c4f00</guid><pubDate>Thu, 21 May 2026 14:38:38 GMT</pubDate><enclosure url="https://static.wixstatic.com/media/d079e4_56d14c042de140a6a977a7f1554547b7~mv2.png/v1/fit/w_547,h_382,al_c,q_80/file.png" length="0" type="image/png"/><dc:creator>Rosalie Berg</dc:creator></item><item><title><![CDATA[My Husband Is Banned From Buying “Dessert”]]></title><description><![CDATA[I’d rather gnaw on Johnny Depp’s sweaty durag There are two types of people in this world: those who think dessert should be delicious, and those who think dessert should be healthy. My husband falls into the latter category. I love him, but his dessert-buying days are numbered. Can an entree be healthy and delicious? Sure. Breakfast? Why not? But dessert? Whyyyy? This is the one course of a meal where we can and should suspend all Goop-infused propaganda. We all know that sugar is our fast...]]></description><link>https://www.mothersoutloud.com/post/my-husband-is-banned-from-buying-dessert</link><guid isPermaLink="false">6a0f16fca2438924d109dba2</guid><pubDate>Thu, 21 May 2026 14:33:00 GMT</pubDate><enclosure url="https://static.wixstatic.com/media/d079e4_9aafa8a446c94b8d8d88c7ed38c72db5~mv2.jpg/v1/fit/w_1000,h_1000,al_c,q_80/file.png" length="0" type="image/png"/><dc:creator>Rosalie Berg</dc:creator></item><item><title><![CDATA[I Attempted One of This Season’s Hottest Trends and Turned Into a Giant Hotdog]]></title><description><![CDATA[At least I can waddle with the best of them They are everywhere — online and in stores. They are trending all over Instagram and LTK (Like to Know). They pop up in the folds of every glossy magazine. They line the runways of the hottest fashion shows. They are long and awkward. They look impossible to walk in. They remind you of that mean librarian from elementary school who always had spinach in her teeth. They are confusingly this season’s hottest trend. They are ankle-length, denim skirts...]]></description><link>https://www.mothersoutloud.com/post/i-attempted-one-of-this-season-s-hottest-trends-and-turned-into-a-giant-hotdog</link><guid isPermaLink="false">6a0f15fa8fa816dacc7bdb1e</guid><pubDate>Thu, 21 May 2026 14:29:10 GMT</pubDate><enclosure url="https://static.wixstatic.com/media/d079e4_828183870f0a4953bf1ba435826c9e29~mv2.jpg/v1/fit/w_661,h_905,al_c,q_80/file.png" length="0" type="image/png"/><dc:creator>Rosalie Berg</dc:creator></item><item><title><![CDATA[Mom Posts Honest Social Media Tribute To Her Son On His Birthday]]></title><description><![CDATA[And is forever shunned by her community In an unprecedented act of bravery, a local mom decided to post an honest tribute to her son on his birthday on Facebook. The mom — whose identity will remain anonymous for her safety — was tired of seeing the constant stream of identical posts from other moms on their children’s birthdays. The local mom didn’t understand how everyone’s kids were so perfect and special. Was she the only one on the planet with average, lazy, messy, ungrateful kids? Day...]]></description><link>https://www.mothersoutloud.com/post/mom-posts-honest-social-media-tribute-to-her-son-on-his-birthday</link><guid isPermaLink="false">6a0f14aa2b5c18841b9366a2</guid><pubDate>Thu, 21 May 2026 14:25:03 GMT</pubDate><enclosure url="https://static.wixstatic.com/media/d079e4_5eb12b64fa22486585e7d31276152d0e~mv2.jpg/v1/fit/w_1000,h_895,al_c,q_80/file.png" length="0" type="image/png"/><dc:creator>Rosalie Berg</dc:creator></item><item><title><![CDATA[Adventures Test Driving an EV: How I Made the Sales Guy Hurl]]></title><description><![CDATA[Will my Knight Rider dreams come true? There comes a time in every mom’s life when she realizes her current family hauler is no longer making the cut. It is a sad day. “We’ve been through so much together,” I say, rubbing the hood of my 2021 VW Atlas, “like the time we almost hit a cow, but we’ve hit a rough patch,” I continued. “You’re starting to create more hassle for me with all of your airbag issues and recalls, and the vinyl seats I once found charming are really starting to chafe my...]]></description><link>https://www.mothersoutloud.com/post/adventures-test-driving-an-ev-how-i-made-the-sales-guy-hurl</link><guid isPermaLink="false">6a0f0e0740b8a446f99b9d19</guid><pubDate>Thu, 21 May 2026 14:17:02 GMT</pubDate><enclosure url="https://static.wixstatic.com/media/d079e4_6f6aed4884744dec8860d221594ce5ad~mv2.jpg/v1/fit/w_1000,h_1000,al_c,q_80/file.png" length="0" type="image/png"/><dc:creator>Rosalie Berg</dc:creator></item><item><title><![CDATA[All That Time, I Thought a Pterosaur Was Stalking Me]]></title><description><![CDATA[Unraveling a mystery that had been plaguing me for years When I moved to Texas in the summer of 2017, there were many things I was not adequately prepared for. Heat that makes the surface of the sun seem refreshing. Snakes. So many snakes. All the snakes. Ted Cruz as my actual senator, not just some goon I’d make fun of on TV. But one thing blew these right out of the water — The prehistoric creature that roamed the greenbelt of my suburban neighborhood, making a chilling sound that...]]></description><link>https://www.mothersoutloud.com/post/all-that-time-i-thought-a-pterosaur-was-stalking-me</link><guid isPermaLink="false">6a0f0c21b883334b04e038a9</guid><pubDate>Thu, 21 May 2026 13:48:24 GMT</pubDate><enclosure url="https://static.wixstatic.com/media/d079e4_b41490c6a7254d5f8f5a99c4f751ce1e~mv2.jpg/v1/fit/w_1000,h_963,al_c,q_80/file.png" length="0" type="image/png"/><dc:creator>Rosalie Berg</dc:creator></item><item><title><![CDATA[Me Versus The Dressing Room]]></title><description><![CDATA[The ultimate face-off between mortal woman and trendy fashion Who doesn’t love a fluorescent lit dressing room with circus mirrors? Seriously — what’s not to love? Between the cornea-burning fluorescent lights that accentuate every dimple you never knew you had, mirrors that make you feel like you’re Kendall Jenner one minute and an obese Gollum the next, and the prying eyes of your hyperactive salesperson trying to sell you this season’s hottest everything — it’s essentially paradise. I...]]></description><link>https://www.mothersoutloud.com/post/me-versus-the-dressing-room</link><guid isPermaLink="false">6a0e05e5dd4d9b98a26a12d1</guid><pubDate>Wed, 20 May 2026 19:08:22 GMT</pubDate><enclosure url="https://static.wixstatic.com/media/d079e4_ac2311df6c914c1291ca452ccc5b11e1~mv2.png/v1/fit/w_571,h_370,al_c,q_80/file.png" length="0" type="image/png"/><dc:creator>Rosalie Berg</dc:creator></item><item><title><![CDATA[My Family Would Be the First To Go During an Alien Invasion]]></title><description><![CDATA[According to Hollywood, survival is reserved for the quiet ones There is a very popular trend amongst movies and shows about alien/zombie/fungus/monster invasions. There are oodles of shows featuring creepy creatures that are singularly focused on destroying mankind. You have probably watched at least one. I was recently watching Invasion on AppleTV and it occurred to me that all invasive creatures from Hollywood’s latest apocalyptic craze are attracted to noise. More often than not there is...]]></description><link>https://www.mothersoutloud.com/post/my-family-would-be-the-first-to-go-during-an-alien-invasion</link><guid isPermaLink="false">6a0e0546dd4d9b98a26a1172</guid><pubDate>Wed, 20 May 2026 19:04:07 GMT</pubDate><enclosure url="https://static.wixstatic.com/media/d079e4_744eed09189a4838b107863817f254a7~mv2.png/v1/fit/w_655,h_433,al_c,q_80/file.png" length="0" type="image/png"/><dc:creator>Rosalie Berg</dc:creator></item><item><title><![CDATA[What Babysitters Think of Me Before and After a Night Out]]></title><description><![CDATA[Misadventures in babysitting The doorbell rings. I saunter towards it, turn the handle and smile BIG. “Hi Mrs. Berg! Wow, you look so pretty!” Me, pretending to be humble. “Aw thanks sweetie! Come on in.” I spent 30 minutes curling my hair. I am wearing clothes that aren’t covered in stains. My face is plastered in Target’s finest make up. I gesture towards my living room. “Hey boys, please come greet the sitter!” They coyly tiptoe into the room and I present them like pups at the Westminster...]]></description><link>https://www.mothersoutloud.com/post/what-babysitters-think-of-me-before-and-after-a-night-out</link><guid isPermaLink="false">6a0e0473ce2b5b4a4d6d9aed</guid><pubDate>Wed, 20 May 2026 19:01:45 GMT</pubDate><enclosure url="https://static.wixstatic.com/media/d079e4_435af5ff949b4db582687a71e596384d~mv2.png/v1/fit/w_448,h_595,al_c,q_80/file.png" length="0" type="image/png"/><dc:creator>Rosalie Berg</dc:creator></item><item><title><![CDATA[I’ll Take a Side of Ashton Kutcher With That Giant Slice of Shame]]></title><description><![CDATA[How a trip to the dentist’s office felt like an episode of Punk’d I recently had to change dentists due to some obnoxious insurance shenanigans. Completing this task was like translating an ancient Greek scroll into modern-day Gen Z-speak. Fucking nonsense. After dozens of calls and an endless online scavenger hunt, I found a place that accepted my new insurance and had a cool logo. In my mind, I had struck gold. When I called to book my overdue cleaning, I was told that to see the actual...]]></description><link>https://www.mothersoutloud.com/post/i-ll-take-a-side-of-ashton-kutcher-with-that-giant-slice-of-shame</link><guid isPermaLink="false">6a0e03a38e0cce8d79c919f4</guid><pubDate>Wed, 20 May 2026 18:58:00 GMT</pubDate><enclosure url="https://static.wixstatic.com/media/d079e4_16b30e1aca56484fa44c8a3be24599c4~mv2.png/v1/fit/w_589,h_424,al_c,q_80/file.png" length="0" type="image/png"/><dc:creator>Rosalie Berg</dc:creator></item><item><title><![CDATA[Doesn’t Everyone Have a Creepy Drawer of Teeth?]]></title><description><![CDATA[It may be time to reexamine modern-day Tooth Fairy practices I was recently looking for a different necklace to wear. I am a basic bitch who picks one piece of jewelry to mate with for life, but for some reason I felt the need to switch it up. Probably for some uptight school event. As I was rummaging around my jewelry drawer like a depraved squirrel looking for its one and only nut, I kept pulling up baggie after baggie of mini teeth. This isn’t my fault. My husband was actually born on a...]]></description><link>https://www.mothersoutloud.com/post/doesn-t-everyone-have-a-creepy-drawer-of-teeth</link><guid isPermaLink="false">6a0e026fcb0791383ec34ac9</guid><pubDate>Wed, 20 May 2026 18:52:36 GMT</pubDate><enclosure url="https://static.wixstatic.com/media/d079e4_40b72bca91ff4203b1d438a08eb04c77~mv2.png/v1/fit/w_382,h_395,al_c,q_80/file.png" length="0" type="image/png"/><dc:creator>Rosalie Berg</dc:creator></item><item><title><![CDATA[Let’s Stop Calling Your Plague “Allergies”]]></title><description><![CDATA[Your green mucous is fooling no one Cassandra I sat across the table from Cassandra at my latest ladies who don’t lunch gathering and watched through judgmental eyes as she whipped out three billion tissues and blew into them. After she had cleared out her nasal passages, Cassandra sat back and hacked up a lung full of phlegm. “These damn allergies are killing me!” she shrieked in an unnecessarily loud voice due to her ears being completely plugged. The fuck they are Cass. “I’ve tried Zyrtec,...]]></description><link>https://www.mothersoutloud.com/post/let-s-stop-calling-your-plague-allergies</link><guid isPermaLink="false">6a0e01c896905735bfe7307f</guid><pubDate>Wed, 20 May 2026 18:49:36 GMT</pubDate><enclosure url="https://static.wixstatic.com/media/d079e4_a4986a9d0c7c463aa35e3389aee7fa24~mv2.png/v1/fit/w_488,h_377,al_c,q_80/file.png" length="0" type="image/png"/><dc:creator>Rosalie Berg</dc:creator></item><item><title><![CDATA[Poshmark Tells All]]></title><description><![CDATA[The real stories behind those second-hand goods Ever wonder about the origin of those used goods you order online or purchase at your local thrift store? Could you be rocking a dead person’s frock or a drug dealer’s old shoes? The possibilities are endless and endlessly creepy. For the three humans out there wondering — here are some wardrobe backstories that may or may not be from my closet. Enjoy! Size 37.5 Jimmy Choo kitten-heel pumps in excellent, pre-loved condition. From a smoke-free...]]></description><link>https://www.mothersoutloud.com/post/poshmark-tells-all</link><guid isPermaLink="false">6a0e00f8cb0791383ec34795</guid><pubDate>Wed, 20 May 2026 18:46:34 GMT</pubDate><enclosure url="https://static.wixstatic.com/media/d079e4_09ce13fa53b04a5c834e23defed71506~mv2.png/v1/fit/w_472,h_308,al_c,q_80/file.png" length="0" type="image/png"/><dc:creator>Rosalie Berg</dc:creator></item><item><title><![CDATA[Let’s Stop Pretending Your Child Has Diverse Interests]]></title><description><![CDATA[If Roblox were to mysteriously vanish, your child’s fit would be heard around the globe “Augustin is obsessed with chess lately! He can’t get enough of his chess club! We’re looking into a special chess tutor.” “Really! How great. We just signed Lillyanna up for fencing! She expressed interest after we watched the World Fencing Championships the other day as a family.” “Kids are so funny. Brentley is absolutely obsessed with geothermal energy and created a geothermal power plant out of legos...]]></description><link>https://www.mothersoutloud.com/post/let-s-stop-pretending-your-child-has-diverse-interests</link><guid isPermaLink="false">6a0e0008ce2b5b4a4d6d91a5</guid><pubDate>Wed, 20 May 2026 18:42:07 GMT</pubDate><enclosure url="https://static.wixstatic.com/media/d079e4_6659816657354d7fa012aef8930fff09~mv2.jpg/v1/fit/w_1000,h_1000,al_c,q_80/file.png" length="0" type="image/png"/><dc:creator>Rosalie Berg</dc:creator></item><item><title><![CDATA[Husband Bravely Expresses Terror Over Wife’s Imminent Menopause]]></title><description><![CDATA[Uncertain about his future, intrepid husband wants answers A husband of a woman in her mid-forties has recently expressed concern about what the woman’s impending major life change — otherwise knows as menopause — will mean for him. He is full of questions and decides he can’t contain his anxiety any longer, so he shares his questions and concerns with his wife during what he expects to be a calm, reasonable, open, loving dialog. “So, are you going to become a raging bitch all the time?” he...]]></description><link>https://www.mothersoutloud.com/post/husband-bravely-expresses-terror-over-wife-s-imminent-menopause</link><guid isPermaLink="false">6a0dff81ce2b5b4a4d6d906d</guid><pubDate>Wed, 20 May 2026 18:39:03 GMT</pubDate><enclosure url="https://static.wixstatic.com/media/d079e4_a2fcf456321f45a6a9331068fc136802~mv2.jpg/v1/fit/w_1000,h_1000,al_c,q_80/file.png" length="0" type="image/png"/><dc:creator>Rosalie Berg</dc:creator></item><item><title><![CDATA[Why You Want Me at Your Funeral]]></title><description><![CDATA[Expanding my services beyond wedding guest extraordinaire Funerals are sad affairs. People typically wear black and speak in hushed tones or don’t speak at all. You may hear sniffles or the occasional nose honk. There are often eulogies about the dearly deceased’s unremarkable accomplishments. Eulogies about the dearly departed will be boring, long and formulaic. You may struggle to find something interesting to say about Uncle Chester who worked as a soil infiltration tester and had a...]]></description><link>https://www.mothersoutloud.com/post/why-you-want-me-at-your-funeral</link><guid isPermaLink="false">6a0de4d1cb0791383ec30d55</guid><pubDate>Wed, 20 May 2026 16:47:44 GMT</pubDate><enclosure url="https://static.wixstatic.com/media/d079e4_e6a918b0245c44ba9bc0edde44318c8a~mv2.jpg/v1/fit/w_1000,h_1000,al_c,q_80/file.png" length="0" type="image/png"/><dc:creator>Rosalie Berg</dc:creator></item><item><title><![CDATA[Why You Want Me at Your Wedding]]></title><description><![CDATA[Move over Owen and Vince, there’s a new clown in town You want me at your wedding. Trust me. I make a fabulous wedding guest. At least I used to. It’s been a pretty minute since I’ve been invited to one, but I’d probably make an even better one now at the ripe old age of not giving a fuck. Sadly for me — but mostly for you — my wedding season has long since come and gone, leaving me longing for a good, old-fashioned nuptial celebration. Let’s skip that boring ceremony you’ve been planning for...]]></description><link>https://www.mothersoutloud.com/post/why-you-want-me-at-your-wedding</link><guid isPermaLink="false">6a0de30e9209fbd4f4f22992</guid><pubDate>Wed, 20 May 2026 16:39:17 GMT</pubDate><enclosure url="https://static.wixstatic.com/media/d079e4_7073578256734d0c96f900543c55f523~mv2.jpg/v1/fit/w_1000,h_1000,al_c,q_80/file.png" length="0" type="image/png"/><dc:creator>Rosalie Berg</dc:creator></item><item><title><![CDATA[What I’ve Learned Being Married to a Midwesterner]]></title><description><![CDATA[There’s so much more than cheese Midwesterners are nice. This is a universal truth. If you disagree, you have never spent much time with one. Even people in Chicago are leaps and bounds kinder than their coastal equivalents. I don’t understand why or how it came to be — it just is. I am married to a Midwesterner and life with him is giant Nice-Off (see video below), but he’s the only one competing. I hail from the Northeast and the concept of going out of my way for others is as foreign to me...]]></description><link>https://www.mothersoutloud.com/post/what-i-ve-learned-being-married-to-a-midwesterner</link><guid isPermaLink="false">6a0de25ccb0791383ec30802</guid><pubDate>Wed, 20 May 2026 16:35:45 GMT</pubDate><enclosure url="https://static.wixstatic.com/media/d079e4_cbae41109ae74ecfabbb417548658166~mv2.jpg/v1/fit/w_1000,h_1000,al_c,q_80/file.png" length="0" type="image/png"/><dc:creator>Rosalie Berg</dc:creator></item></channel></rss>